ready to be done.

WOW... I can't believe how quickly the days have passed. I remember being about 12 weeks and my friend Nicole telling me that I would get to the end of my pregnancy and wonder where the time has gone. Well, she was right, where has the time gone? I can't believe I will have an outside baby in less than a month! How do I feel?

1. Exhausted. Growing a baby is hard work. I never realized how long 9 months really is.
2. Stretched. Skin really is elastic.
3. Excited. I cannot wait to meet this baby. I cannot wait to see Skylers face the first time he holds her.
4. Irritated. Honestly, the end is the worst part of this waiting game. 3 weeks feels like an ETERNITY.
5. Prepared. I have spent the last nine months reading and stockpiling. We have everything we need and more.
Oh, and I should add hungry to the list, because apparently baby is going through a growth spurt (again) and I cant fill my gut enough.

I feel like this is one of those "just add water" situations. We have everything we need, now just have to put the baby in it! Still havent decided on a name. I keep having this daydream of them handing me my baby and me saying "happy birthday whatever your name is!!" (because I imagine I would tell her happy birthday, but who knows) We have already made it this far without a name, that we have both decided to take a favorite name list with us to the hospital and see what she looks like when she comes out. (hopefully cute as pie).

As lovely of an experience as this has been, im ready to be done. Baby, let this be heard, you have two more weeks to bake and im officially evicting you. 39 weeks is plenty of time to put on that baby fat and youre done. All this "40 week" nonsense is ridic. You dont need one extra week to put on 3 more pounds because remember, I HAVE TO PUSH YOU OUT. I refuse, repeat, refuse, to push out anything over 8(ish) pounds. I have a growing list of things that I would like to have or have happen after she is out of me.

1. Drink an extremely large sugar free redbull. Feel free to bring one to the hospital for me, anyone who is reading this. I hope its really cold and tastes as delicious and mouth tingling as I remember.
2. Sleep on my stomach. or my back. Heck, ill do both in one night, flip flopping back and forth repeatedly because ILL BE ABLE TO DO THAT without a large belly. SHRIEK.
3. Have a really cold beer. or two. Preferably draft but im not going to argue about it.
4. Coffee in the morning. I have spent the last 9 months worth of mornings smelling the delicious coffee that Skyler makes in the morning. If I was a bitch I would have pretended that coffee made me morning sick and told him he couldnt make it *just because I was so jealous everytime he had a cup* sigh. im such a good wife.
5. Have a large turkey sandwich. Although in the back of my mind I think this listeria nonsense is a load of crock.
6. Getting my body back. I miss my flat stomach and a lower number when I step on the scale.

Thats all I can think of for now, but im sure there are more things that my pregnancy brain is preventing me from thinking of right now.
I feel like since this is sort of a listing post maybe I should add one more thing.

THINGS I STRONGLY DISLIKE ABOUT BEING PREGNANT



1. Everything is fragile. You have to be so CAREFUL. all the time. DONT DO THAT YOURE PREGNANT. I can't even go outside for more than 5 minutes, per drs orders.

2. Sleep positioning. Right side or left side... not enough options.

3. Having to pee every 10 minutes and YES I HAVE TO PEE AGAIN IM PREGNANT STOP JUDGING ME

4. Everyone giving me their baby "advice". so. annoying. it seems like every time I give my input about something, someone is saying to me "oh wait until that baby gets here you will have a big wake up call" HELLO I wasnt born yesterday, I got it, babies are hard, yada yada yada. I think we can handle it.

5. My body is not mine. Its currently on loan to an alien inside, take a number.

I weigh 152 POUNDS. SCREAM.

the end.